Love Never Fails

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  1 Corinthians 13:7

This is the verse we used in our wedding on October 11, 2014. 

Yes, wedding.  I was married after 3 years of being a widow.  I know, first hand how this marriage will end...one of us is going to die.  I know this, yet I still married.  As love bears all things.

It's a very romantic story:  Joe and I actually graduated high school together. Belton Tigers, Class of '83!  He and my deceased husband, Jim, played trombone together in the high school band, they were friends.

We lost touch, as many do after high school, and frankly, we didn't hang out in the same crowd.  He got married young (just like me).  He has three children.  We reconnected the spring of 2012, when he learned that Jim had died.  He was this friend who would call and tell me stories of Jim & high school that I never knew, had never heard.  He made me laugh, he prayed with me and for me.  We lifted each other up via phone calls, text and messaging. He could always make me smile.

In October 2013, I had the opportunity to go to Hot Springs and have a girls weekend with some of my childhood friends.  Sheila was battling colon cancer, I knew this would probably be my final time to see her, spend time with her.  On my way, I stopped at a Taco Cabana in Mesquite and met Joe for lunch.  It was the first time I had seen him in over 30 years!  Fun lunch, amazing weekend with a high school homecoming, a slumber party and multiple trips to Sonic.

We met again on 10/27....I invited him over for lunch after church.  I made pork chops.  We spent hours with each other, catching up in person, laughing.  He came over again November 6, that's when we decided we were both curious as to where this relationship was going.

We never looked back. We've been together ever since.  We've met each other families (most of them).  I adore his kids, they seem to adore me.  My kids have embraced Joe with an open mind, just wanting me to be happy and Joe makes me so stinkin' happy!  I am incredibly blessed to have kids that are genuinely happy for me and encouraged me. My daughter met Joe, and said, "As long as you make my mom happy and aren't an axe murderer, I'm good." 

There have been some bumps along the way. Being a widow, sometimes you never know when or how your grief is going to appear...Joe is right there to comfort me and help me through.  It's a learning process for us both.  It's nice to have someone to help me through the sadness.

The wedding was simple, small, sweet. Just what we wanted.  All of us hanging out together before the ceremony, watching football, getting ready.  We were surrounded by our kids, my folks, one of his brothers, our very best friends, in the church.  I have a new last name--that will take some getting use to, for everyone. 

We have the upcoming fun of a honeymoon, an 8-day cruise in the Caribbean, the fun of planning our holidays together, mixing traditions, making new ones.  It's exciting and it's amazing.  We laugh a lot and seem to never run out of things to talk about.  He spoils me rotten, and I try to do the same for him. Our only arguments seem to be around who's going to pay for the groceries & for dinner out...

God's blessings have poured out on me in the most amazing ways since Jim's death.  I'm in awe.  I'm thankful and ever so grateful.

Mr. & Mrs.

Time is literally flying by!

Time flies when you decide to move forward & be happy

I have not blogged since August of last year! That was right around the 2nd anniversary of Jim's death. Time is flying by!!!

In July last year, I simply decided to be happy again.  I also decided that I was open to dating, meeting someone new and seeing where that adventure would take me. It's been an adventure!

I tried online dating--met a man from originally from New Jersey and determined rather quickly that he would be a friend--fun to hang out with and watch movies but nothing more.

Took a trip to Myrtle Beach with 4 other widows and we had so much fun! These women are strong & funny and living life the best way they know how after the death of their husbands...just like me.  We are a fearsome group who spend most the time laughing, being bawdy and just having a good time!  Such a good time, one night at dinner we had a bunch of men taking pictures with us (I don't think their ladies liked it)! I think they just wanted to join in on the crazy fun we were having.
I discovered on this trip, that a less then 24-hour romance is quite hilarious and maybe I'm not cut out for dating, or "playing the field".   Tried one more online date which turned south after having just met (>15 minutes) him, I said NO to more than just friendly, than got to sit through 30 minutes of psycho-analysis as to why I'm not ready for a relationship...I officially 'retired' from online dating.

I traveled to Florida for a few days around Jim's birthday (his 50th) and what would have been our 30th wedding anniversary.  I've discovered that I must be at a beach during this time.  The sand, the water, the waves are my refuge, my comfort.  Thought that I would "kill two birds w/one stone" and meet a widower I had been chatting with....not my best idea.  I needed peace, tranquility and his 5 yr old was too much for me... I pray that he and his son are doing well.

In the midst of all this time moving so fast, the friendship w/a guy I graduated high school with was always there.  We would email, text, Facebook message and talk occasionally.  He knew Jim, and he's a truly caring person & great friend.  We lifted each other up as we kept in touch--it was normal for us to pray for one another.

In October last year, I got the opportunity to spend a weekend in Hot Springs, with my good friend, Sheila Lichti....she was fighting the most courageous battle against cancer.  It was my old school's homecoming.  The 80's Ladies together again....I also knew, in my heart, this would probably be the last time I saw Sheila (She won, and went to heaven in December).  We had an amazing time! Slumber party at her sister's, friends I hadn't seen in forever.....it was a perfect weekend!  On my way out of town, I stopped in Mesquite and saw this "old" friend.  We met for lunch, the first time I had seen him in over 30 years! It was so wonderful to see him, talk to him in person, share a hug!

A few weeks later, I invite Joe (that's Him!) over for dinner after church.  We spend the entire afternoon together!  One thing leads to another and we decide we are both curious as to where "this" is going-- I'm on the phone with him the night before my wedding anniversary, he's helping through my grief, for hours.  I'm messaging him as I sit on the beach, reflecting as I sit, listening to the waves crash, soaking up the sun & seeing old women who should NOT bend over while wearing a bathing suit scoop up shells (the images of old boobies and wrinkly tattoos are forever scorched in my mind).  I've never wanted to share that day with anyone, but Joe made it easy and eased my grief.

Family Fun Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, a car accident, a fabulous trip to California, Easter, Mother's Day has come and gone.

Joe and I have been together for over 6 months.  He's met my family, my friends, I've met his kids...we all seem to like each other.  Now to see what happens when we get his kids and my kids together... God certainly has His own plans and His own timing!  And evidently a sense of humor, as each of us were praying for love, we just didn't realize we were praying for each other!

Grief still finds it's way to me...it's a journey that never ends.  It's one piece of my baggage, and we all have baggage of some sort.  Sometimes the baggage falls and spills open.  I wallow in the contents for a bit then pack it back up and close the lid.  The only difference now is I have Joe to help me put it back.
Unfortunately, he's learning as I learn how to deal w/the sudden onset & the sudden departure of grief....it's truly like a summer storm: quick to arrive, intense, then gone in a flash!



The journey continues...my journey of grief, last year it was a journey of discovery.  This year, it's a journey of JOY!  Meet Joe, he's one of my JOY's in 2014!