I've had two encounters where I've made plans, only to be interrupted by God. I felt the need to share:
Back in March, I went Bluebonnet hunting. Had my new camera and was determined to have myself a pity party while out and about in Jim's mustang--top down, beautiful day, just me, crying and feeling so sorry for myself. I'm entitled...or so I thought. A random stop at a gas station: I NEVER drive west on 287 and I didn't really need gas, I could have gone a few more days. My carefully laid plan for the pity party went away when I "happened" to meet up with a very, very dear friend, Steve Spohn. He was getting gas for the mower and about to leave, he noticed Jim's car pull up..I didn't realize it was him right away, just assumed it was some crazy man in the truck trying to talk to me. We chatted for a bit, and then I followed him home to visit with his wife and family. Oh, it was a wonderful visit!! I love and adore that family! And, the pity party--never happened! I left their house feeling so much better, so much brighter! Hunted down some bluebonnets, got sunburned, had a great afternoon!
This past Tuesday, was a bit of a tough day. I needed Jim, I needed his calmness and wisdom w/an issue I had in my head. This need, only he could fill, made me miss him. So after a very restless and sleepless night, I decided to stay home, try to sleep some and well, yes, have myself another pity party.
I was primed and ready to spend the day in misery. I checked Facebook and read a post from a friend, about someone close to them who was dying. This lovely person was called home, later that evening, but prior to her death, she was sharing with those around her glimpses of heaven! It took my breath away to read what this woman was seeing of heaven as her life her on earth was ending! So amazing, so awesome, so comforting--as she was seeing those who had gone before, waiting, to welcome her Home!
I settled in for a really good round of pity. Lorianne called me, checking on me. She and Amelia had heard the song "God of this City" on the radio, it made them think of Jim, so they called. Lovely, lovely memory they shared with me, it made me smile to think of Jim playing in the praise band. So thoughtful, her calling me.
My Pops called, he was in town, and up the highway for the night. So I picked him up and we went to supper. I took him by the church to see Austin and talk w/him for a bit. Got wonderful hugs from the Bennett's. When I got home I went for a walk/jog. I believe the term is wogging I stopped to talk to my neighbor's that live behind me. They thought Jim had died, but weren't sure, so I confirmed it, and there were words of compassion and sorrow for me. I walked on home. Austin had gotten home about 15 minutes before me. There was a police car parked in front of the house. As I walked in, I jokingly, jokingly asked him if the cops were here for him...and he told me YES! It was a case of mistaken identity---but I really was joking!
I write in a journal every night, and as I was writing down my thoughts for the day, I realized, God once again, blew up my plans for a pity party! It made me laugh, it made me smile as I realized this is twice that I've planned on feeling sorry for myself and twice that God thwarted my plans. I truly believe that because of Jim's death, I am so much more observant of God's hands working around me, through other people carefully placed in my path at just the right time.
He certainly does, and in my case, evidently, pity parties are not part of His plan for me. Once again, I am thankful and humbled.
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