Time is literally flying by!

Time flies when you decide to move forward & be happy

I have not blogged since August of last year! That was right around the 2nd anniversary of Jim's death. Time is flying by!!!

In July last year, I simply decided to be happy again.  I also decided that I was open to dating, meeting someone new and seeing where that adventure would take me. It's been an adventure!

I tried online dating--met a man from originally from New Jersey and determined rather quickly that he would be a friend--fun to hang out with and watch movies but nothing more.

Took a trip to Myrtle Beach with 4 other widows and we had so much fun! These women are strong & funny and living life the best way they know how after the death of their husbands...just like me.  We are a fearsome group who spend most the time laughing, being bawdy and just having a good time!  Such a good time, one night at dinner we had a bunch of men taking pictures with us (I don't think their ladies liked it)! I think they just wanted to join in on the crazy fun we were having.
I discovered on this trip, that a less then 24-hour romance is quite hilarious and maybe I'm not cut out for dating, or "playing the field".   Tried one more online date which turned south after having just met (>15 minutes) him, I said NO to more than just friendly, than got to sit through 30 minutes of psycho-analysis as to why I'm not ready for a relationship...I officially 'retired' from online dating.

I traveled to Florida for a few days around Jim's birthday (his 50th) and what would have been our 30th wedding anniversary.  I've discovered that I must be at a beach during this time.  The sand, the water, the waves are my refuge, my comfort.  Thought that I would "kill two birds w/one stone" and meet a widower I had been chatting with....not my best idea.  I needed peace, tranquility and his 5 yr old was too much for me... I pray that he and his son are doing well.

In the midst of all this time moving so fast, the friendship w/a guy I graduated high school with was always there.  We would email, text, Facebook message and talk occasionally.  He knew Jim, and he's a truly caring person & great friend.  We lifted each other up as we kept in touch--it was normal for us to pray for one another.

In October last year, I got the opportunity to spend a weekend in Hot Springs, with my good friend, Sheila Lichti....she was fighting the most courageous battle against cancer.  It was my old school's homecoming.  The 80's Ladies together again....I also knew, in my heart, this would probably be the last time I saw Sheila (She won, and went to heaven in December).  We had an amazing time! Slumber party at her sister's, friends I hadn't seen in forever.....it was a perfect weekend!  On my way out of town, I stopped in Mesquite and saw this "old" friend.  We met for lunch, the first time I had seen him in over 30 years! It was so wonderful to see him, talk to him in person, share a hug!

A few weeks later, I invite Joe (that's Him!) over for dinner after church.  We spend the entire afternoon together!  One thing leads to another and we decide we are both curious as to where "this" is going-- I'm on the phone with him the night before my wedding anniversary, he's helping through my grief, for hours.  I'm messaging him as I sit on the beach, reflecting as I sit, listening to the waves crash, soaking up the sun & seeing old women who should NOT bend over while wearing a bathing suit scoop up shells (the images of old boobies and wrinkly tattoos are forever scorched in my mind).  I've never wanted to share that day with anyone, but Joe made it easy and eased my grief.

Family Fun Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, a car accident, a fabulous trip to California, Easter, Mother's Day has come and gone.

Joe and I have been together for over 6 months.  He's met my family, my friends, I've met his kids...we all seem to like each other.  Now to see what happens when we get his kids and my kids together... God certainly has His own plans and His own timing!  And evidently a sense of humor, as each of us were praying for love, we just didn't realize we were praying for each other!

Grief still finds it's way to me...it's a journey that never ends.  It's one piece of my baggage, and we all have baggage of some sort.  Sometimes the baggage falls and spills open.  I wallow in the contents for a bit then pack it back up and close the lid.  The only difference now is I have Joe to help me put it back.
Unfortunately, he's learning as I learn how to deal w/the sudden onset & the sudden departure of grief....it's truly like a summer storm: quick to arrive, intense, then gone in a flash!



The journey continues...my journey of grief, last year it was a journey of discovery.  This year, it's a journey of JOY!  Meet Joe, he's one of my JOY's in 2014!