Misses...
on Thursday, February 23, 2012 at 2:27pm ·
Today marks 6 months...if you want to get technical and really play out
the numbers, it's actually 26 weeks, 2 days or 184 days, or about 4,416
hours...since Jim's body broke so horribly bad that God had no choice
but to take him home. I think back to the book, "Why? Making Sense of
God's Will"... where I learned a valuable lesson that helped heal my
heart just a little: I couldn't fix Jim, neither could the EMTs or the
Doctors, but God did and he now lives with Him, perfect! Anyone else a
bit envious of that?I try to focus on the blessing that was Jim's life with me for 30 years. I try to focus on the blessings, oh SO MANY blessings that have come my way in the last 6 months. I try to focus on the Angels that have crossed my path, I try to focus on the way God uses others around me to answer my prayers.... but I also find myself focusing on all my "Misses":
- I miss his smile!
- I miss the way he could always make me laugh!
- I miss his physical presence
- I miss worshipping w/him, sinking into him during the sermon
- I miss holding his hand and praying after we took communion, together
- I miss sharing my day with him
- I miss watching him be the very best dad ever!
- I see Jim in our son, and in our daughter, the goodness that was Jim lives on in them, they will say or do somthing and I see Jim, I miss him
- I miss watching him worship, playing his guitar--that was his time w/the Lord and he always got lost in those moments
- I miss his cold feet and constant complaints about the cold
- I miss him always picking up after me...he was a better housekeeper than I was
- I miss watching our favorite TV shows and baseball together
- I miss that final text messaging at the end of the work day as we both left work and headed home, knowing that for the most part, we were going to be together
- I miss watching him prepare for rehearsals and Sunday service and that excitement he would get when he was working on some music that he didn't get---and then he finally "got" it
- I miss those lazy mornings, we didn't have to get up immediately and go our separate ways
- I miss how he would ask me what's wrong, I'd say nothing and he would pick and pick until he got the answer of what was really wrong---I should have learned to just give it up the first time he asked, but I never did...
- I miss texting him when I'm driving the Mustang with the top down...just the word, "TOPLESS"! He did that to me too when he drove w/the top down....
The journey remains long and hard, but I am, as always sustained by Faith, Family & Friends.
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